Breakfast #9
Black Screen. The loud noise of an alarm clock is heard.
An image of the face of a digital alarm clock suddenly fills the. Screen. It is 9:00.
The camera zooms out to show a man lying in bed with the covers up to his armpits.
His eyes pop open and he sits straight up and yawns. He turns his head to the left
and looks through a window out into the city. The man gets up very happy, he snaps
his fingers and walks with rhythm as he heads for the bathroom. As he passes a small
TV right outside of the washroom, he nonchalantly hits the power button. An image of
the Sesame Street Count appears.
From within the Bathroom you can hear the count talking. The man opens his medicine
cupboard revealing bottles of various vitamins and pills, and a half squeezed toothpaste
tube. The count is now counting upwards from 1. On each number the man alternates
thrusting the toothbrush in one motion to the left, then on the next number to the
right. At the number 9 the man spits and washes out his mouth. He quickly combs his
hair and turns out the light. Man turns off TV, and walks over to closet where he has
9 pairs of the same set of suit pant and shirt. He grabs one out and puts it on.
Cinching up a jet black tie. He walks into the kitchen and grabs his keys off the
rack, and heads out.
Now on the sidewalk outside of his house, the man walks cheerfully down the street.
He walks with a kind of cocky bounce, almost like one of the “night at the Roxbury” guys.
He is very confident and very happy. As he passes people he points at them in a friendly,
yet sleazy, manner. (Almost as if to say, “Hey Chief, how’s it goin’?)
{HERES THE TRICKY PART}(As he does these points he adds a finger each time but on
alternating hands. So he uses his index finger on his right hand for the first person,
then index left for the 2nd. Now he adds the middle right to the index right as he passes
the 3rd, and the middle left to the middle index as he passes the fourth. And so on until
he has counted off the number 9 between his two hands. (4 fingers on one, and 5 on the
other). After he sees the 8th person he looks upwards and sees the McDonalds sign just
ahead, He smiles and gives an excited and approving bob of the head. (Like he’s listening
to music) He points too the ninth person as he walks towards McDonalds, doing this said
person flips him off, or calls him a name. At that the man gives an angry look and acts
insulted (“what’s that guys problem” is the look I’m going for). He reaches over and
grabs the handle of the door and steps in, the restaurant sign is not shown. He struts
in, the place is empty. Confidently he walks to the cashier and says
“The usual please, Tony” He sounds like he knows this person and gives a very cheesy
smile, like he’s done this a million times and he thinks he’s witty.
The cashier, whose face has remained deadpan, says
“Sir, my name is Franklin and I don’t know what the usual is”.
Man
“oh sorry about that, Franky I thought you were someone else. Right, well I’ll have the
Number 9 please. And remember this face, cause I’ll be here A LOT” He stresses that last word
The cashier , now getting frustrated, replies “That’s nice, but we don’t have a number 9 on our menu”
Joking the man replies
“Yea right, good joke their Frank, (his voice turns very serious and he puts his face
close to the cashier) but seriously gimme the 9”.
At that the man pulls back his face, and turns his back to the cashier. He begins to look
around and softly whistle a song to himself. (He thinks his order is now being processed
and he’s waiting) he has a big smile on his face. As he looks he gives a side-glance at
the menu board and looks away. In a double take he looks back up. His eyes go dead, and
his smile slowly descends into a large low frown. The board ends at combo #8. He looks
nervously around him, a line is forming behind him, and he turns back to the cashier.
A little shaken, he asks,
“Where’s the 9, what happened to it?”
Cashier
“We’ve never had a 9 sir, I told you, now if you could please decide…”
The mans voice shoots upwards in a scared
“NO! (His voice returns to normal) Listen I know you have a 9, I got it yesterday.
And the day before that, AND EVERYDAY FOR THE PAST 4 YEARS!
The cashier, now looking a little frightened, replies
“Sorry, sir…maybe you could try…”
LISTEN!” interrupts the man, now very nervous and sweating profusely, Very desperate
he continues “just give me the 9, this isn’t funny anymore, ok? Look here, here’s my
money!” he slams 99 cents on the counter and turns his back to the cashier. He begins
to look around and whistle again, but very nervously (this is a copy of what he did
after his first encounter with the cashier, however this time its very shaky and scared looking)
“Sir…” a large hand pushes the change back across the counter towards the man, The
hand belongs to a manager. The manager continues “Listen sir, please take your change
and move to the back of the line until you can decide, if we don’t have anything you
want you can always go next do…
NO! GOD NO! The man grabs the manager’s shirt with both hands and buries his head in
his chest. The line behind him is very long; they look confused and concerned. Between
sobs the man squeaks “How could this happen, what have I done to deserve this? I don’t
steal I don’t lie I don’t cheat, I go to church every Sunday. Why?! WHY?
At that, he releases the shirt and slowly slides down the manager and falls to his knees
on the floor, his hands planted firmly on his head. “The only thing I love in the world,
the breakfast sandwich number 9 combo, egg mcmuffin with orange juice and hash browns,
that’s all I want, that’s all I need, And now its gone! EVERYTHINGS gone, life isn’t
worth living. (At this he thrusts his hands upwards in a Questioning manner, taking
with them 2 large clumps of his hair.) MCDONALDS! WHY HAVE YOU FORSAKEN ME!
He breaks down sobbing again.
The manager has a confused look on his face…”sir you do realize that this is BurgerKing,
McDonald’s is just around the corner. You must have come in the wrong door”
The man stops sobbing immediately and looks up. Through blurry eyes he slowly focuses
on the burger king logo on the cashiers shirt. He slowly stands up and smoothes his tie,
looks at the manager with a knowing look on his face, almost a wink, and says
“Boy is my face red, Sorry for the mix up. You guys have a good day” (his clothes are messy
and torn his hair is pointing at wild angles and his eyes are all red, he looks terrible)
He scoops the 99 cents off the counter and into his hand. As he heads for the door he starts
whistling and does his trademark point at one of the guests in line, before pushing open the
door and walking out. He pauses outside for a moment as the door closes. He is bobbing his
head again, as if he is listening to music. He walks off. For a few seconds the camera
hangs on the crowd of bewildered guests in the restaurant and then blacks out.
(end)